Hair-Brained Idea

Tonight as my kids were watching Charlie Brown on TV, Daughter of Purpose found a stash of toys I had in my room. Obviously by the way it enraptured her, she had not found these as of yet. I just had to laugh, they were the simplest things I've ever made.

I'm sure you are laughing along with me at the "paper dolls." If you know us and you look really hard, you'll see that some of the paper dolls are my children. Some are the children of my cousins. A few years back, we had a "family reunion" of sorts since my cousins live all over the map. Our children are all the same age and had a blast together. Trying to think of a way to keep their time together alive, I came up with this idea. I think I saw it in a "Family Fun" magazine. It was really meant for the kids to do and then I'd laminate them. What really ended up happening was the moms ended up making "their children" on into the night--not the kids! Despite that snag, I do have to say they were genius. My kids played with those things for weeks and whenever they reappear, they have such a good time reminiscing about that trip. As Daughter of Purpose delighted in finding her siblings in a "paper doll" form, it hit me that these were again a great way for her to meet some people in our family that she had never met before. It hit me that while my niece and nephew are in the mid-west for a few years, I should use our time together at Christmas to do the same thing for Daughter of Purpose. That way she won't forget her cousins while they are away.

Anyone recognize these instant puppets I made? Anyone have "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" memorized? These were so simple to make. I made them for a class I taught on Eric Carle. They were a little past my older kids age when I made them, but I am glad I held on to them. Daughter of Purpose was having such a good time matching each character to the pages in her book and what a learning opportunity it was...red bird, brown bear, white dog, etc. I think I will have to keep these out and work with her every day on them. I bet she'll have her colors and animal names memorized in no time and she'll won't even notice what work it was because the puppets make it so much fun!

I forgot to mention when I originally posted this that my favorite part of when Daughter of Purpose found these was when I witnessed Littlest One sitting with her and reading "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" to her. It was a tender moment between siblings and even sweeter hearing him have such confidence to read out loud to her. Love that!

Recipe for Crusted-Moist Egg Salad

Today I had crunchy, soggy egg salad for lunch. I decided that maybe I should rename it "Crusted-Moist Egg Salad" and maybe it would sound more appealing and appetizing. Whatever I call it, you may ask why I'd dare eat it because its realistic name probably would not make you show up at my house to join me for lunch.

Well, I had Crusted-Moist Egg Salad for lunch today because Daughter of Purpose helped me make lunch today. We eat a lot of eggs in our house (10 dozen is our regular 2 week amount)--hard-boiled being the favorite. Thus far I had yet to allow Daughter of Purpose to help me crack and peel the eggs. I was holding out on her because I really wasn't looking forward to this day, when I would have to eat Crusted-Moist Egg Salad, but today was the day.

All of my other kids were busy with other things and she was on me like glue so I kept tripping on her as I attempted to get lunch on the table. She wanted to help so badly, but I was in a hurry to quiet the clamoring of the "I'm hungry" call that I kept hearing. I was tempted to keep on stepping over her, but decided to go against the convenience of ignoring her and slow down to include her. Why not? It was obvious she was pining for my attention.

You should've seen her face light up when I told her that, yes indeed, she was going to be able to help me crack all of the eggs. I think in her mind it was like a "rite of passage" or something. As we stood at the garbage can peeling eggs we had lots of great conversation and I was able to teach her a new skill. She wasn't perfect--in fact we lost a few good eggs into the trash can and some of them simply looked mauled. Some even still had some of their shell on them, but that's how the soggy part got into the mix. I attempted to wash them off before putting them into the salad.

As we stood there talking, my favorite part was when she said to me, "My brothers and sisters--they say thank you to you and me." I'm not sure her siblings really were grateful for Crusted-Moist Egg Salad, but no one seemed to complain. Maybe they were oblivious or maybe they just remember when it was their day--the first time Mommy took the time to stop tromping over the top of them and instead to include them.

It never is easy in our busy Mommy lives to stop and incorporate our children into what we are doing, I can't say I've ever regretted it. Well...maybe a few times I did in the moment, but long-term, I haven't! I don't know how to describe it, but those moments are like no other. It's like they walk a little taller, smile more and just have an all-around more confident-ness (is that a word?) about themselves. Maybe it's called love...they know they are loved and important enough to be included not just looked over. So when you have a chance, come on over for lunch and I'd be happy to share my Crusted-Moist Egg Salad with you. You'll definitely have to come over for this one though because I don't think this is one of those recipes I can pass on to you!

The Eyes of Compassion

This is a post I wrote from our adoption blog. It really straddles both blogs that I write so I put it on both, but for those of you that read both--this one ends a little differently.

I've been reading a book called, "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson lately. I'm pretty sure I've underlined more than I haven't, but there is one part that really stood out to me. So much so that I've been meditating on it for the last few weeks.

In reference to the passage in Matthew 9:35-36 it says this:

"Jesus was going about all the cities and villages, teaching in the synagogues, and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every kind of disease and every kind of sickness. AND SEEING THE MULTITUDES, HE FELT COMPASSION FOR THEM, because they were distressed and downcast like sheep without a shepherd." (emphasis mine)

Sally Clarkson reflects this: "Instead of seeing the multitude and seeing them with disdain and scorn--or as an overwhelming drain on his time--Jesus felt compassion for them."

Boy can I ever relate to seeing my clan as a "multitude" and boy, can they ever make me feel drained. But this stood out to remind me as to how I should respond to my children--with compassion. I am grateful for this mindset that God had me in this week. He was setting the stage for me to "just happen" to be in the right place at the right time.

As I walked down the hallway, I unfortunately heard this argument between Littlest One and Daughter of Purpose:

Littlest One - "Why don't you just go back to Russia?" (in a very disdainful, angry voice)

Daughter of Purpose - "Fine! I go back to Russia. I go there and be with Nastia (her little friend)."

It was only a few sentences, but yet so incredibly powerful. Again, I am grateful I happened upon their argument so that I could do some damage control. I am so grateful God had me working on my compassion because that's all I could feel for these two precious ones in this moment. I really did think of them as precious at that moment. It was weird, I knew right away that these were two hurting children that needed compassion in that moment--not scolding.

There was nothing more important to me in that moment than to hold both of them and have compassion on them. Littlest One needed some help because some moments he's best buddies with Daughter of Purpose and some moments the two of them fight like cats and dogs. It's gotta be pretty hard to be him...the one who was the baby for 6 years and still feels like Mama's boy, but yet has had to grow up and be a big brother really fast. He's never had to share in such a way. He's never had to instruct someone--he's always been the one instructed! In the midst of my embrace, we had a big talk about what he said and how powerful and hurtful those words were and how he could make it right.

Once I let go of Littlest One, I could fully embrace Daughter of Purpose and pour out compassion on her like I never had before. I'm not sure what changed in that moment, but the depth of my love for her went so deep. Before this moment, I knew that I loved her, but there was a depth to this moment that I had yet to experience. I saw her in a new light. I saw what it must be like to live in her shoes and felt nothing but compassion. Imagine what it's like to be ripped from all that you know to this completely different world. Although the people here are nice and loving, proven they will keep their promises, there are plenty of playmates and good food to go around--what must it be like to walk the perilous line of not knowing if this will last or not? What must it be like to have two worlds and two languages in her head? When she wakes up out of a dead sleep--where does she initial think she is? In America or Russia? Does she dream in Russian or English?

The list of questions could go on, but there was something in this moment that said, "This is your child, not a stranger you are raising. This is your moment to make sure she knows that her being here is not dependent on her behavior. She needs to know that she will always be yours--no matter what." I held Daughter of Purpose close and made sure she knew from my words and my actions exactly that--she is my child and always will be. I made sure she understood that she will never need to worry about returning to Russia--no matter what anyone says even if it is her brother.

From that day on, God has given me new eyes for my Daughter of Purpose. She is no longer just one of the multitude that I have been given to raise. She is a chosen child that needs a Mommy that sees her as one of her own and embraces her for exactly who she is. It can be easy with many children to get so busy that I barely have time to look my children in the eyes each day. It's such a simple thing, but isn't that what we want from the Lord? To be seen as an individual by Him and not just one of the crowd? I know I won't be perfect at this goal, but as God weaves this thread of compassion in my life, I purpose to look at each one of my children in the eyes each day and see them as He does...with compassion.

So I ask you, my fellow Mommy friends, when you look at the "multitude" that God has given you, whether it be small or large in number--adopted or biological--do you see them with eyes of compassion or as an overwhelming drain on your time? Trust me, I know how easy it can be to get caught up in the tasks of each day, feel overwhelmed with it all and forget that children are a blessing. I want to encourage you as you juggle all of your plates to join with me as I purpose to look at my children anew--with fresh new eyes. I want to feel compassion towards my children and not irritation. I want to see them through the eyes of their Maker. I can only imagine what great things will happen when I begin to see my children with the eyes of Jesus.