Enough

We recently went on a short overnight trip. This trip was made with much trepidation as we were not sure how our Hidden Treasure would fare in this unfamiliar environment. If it was to be anything like those hotel nights in Eastern Europe or the first few months here at home...well, it was gonna be rough.

As bedtime drew near, I laid out her familiar items and readied her for bed. I knew that darkness in an unfamiliar environment was ahead, but she didn't. I hated that I had no way to prepare her for what lay ahead.

She took my hand and trusted me as I led her to her little palate filled with comfort items. As she lay there in the dark, staring around at whatever her eyes could make out, I could see her struggling with this dark, new place. I sat by her side silently asking her to trust me and relax enough to feel safe no matter what. This was big and I knew it was hard. Her internal wrestling match was almost tangible.

Slowly, I began to see which way the tide was turning. Her body began to relax as she fell into slumber...and she slept through the whole night. I realized then that we were enough. We are finally at a place where we were enough to make her feel safe no matter the environment.

Watching her, it struck me how it can be like that for us. Sometimes God leads us into dark, unfamiliar places and quietly sits by our side asking us to trust Him enough to relax because He can see the bigger picture. No matter how little we can see, how strange the noises sound or how scared we are...He's asking us to trust that He is enough.

Textures

Our Hidden Treasure seems to have this thing about textures. From the food she eats, to the blankets she will not allow to cover her to the funniest things that bring her immense pleasure. From the very get-go she has been taken with cheap, plastic bead necklaces and bracelets--the more the better. Then it was the bright green scarf made from something similar to Fun Fur. And then the hair on people's heads...I won't even go any further with that one because it's so weird. But then came Christmas and she discovered garland. She still finds remains of it around the house, lifts up her shirt and rubs it on her belly.

Now she's found something new to delight her tactile senses. Can you guess what it is?

Toes

I have to admit it. I am the kind of person that either has to do something 100% or not at all. So...I haven't been doing this blog at all. With a homeschooling family of eight adjusting to a new size, I find our life so full that I don't have the time to sit and write out long thoughts. Instead, what I can do is share our highlights here and there. Typically, I share them on social networking when I can get to it because it only requires me to type out 140 characters and possibly include a photo...and I can do it from my iPhone (sometimes while I'm in the only quiet place in the house...you know the one) anywhere and at any hour. But some people miss out...and they are random...and they are not all in one place...and I feel guilty for never quite spending time here.

In one of my few moments of quiet the other day, I read my friend, Love's blog and was inspired by what she had to say. Maybe, just maybe, she had a solution to my dilemma.

i think it's really crucial to remember that, for the most part, i'm showing you my

highlight reel.  don't get me wrong, i long to be honest and even vulnerable here,

but the reason that i started this space was to remember how precious our moments

are.  so, just because the majority of them are sweet and loving and clean and styled--

make no mistake.  i am human.  we are human.  there is mess--the literal & figurative kind.

The highlighted part jumped out at me. For this season of my life, I can either record something or nothing. For right now, I need a place in which I can record the gifts or "the highlight reel"--as she calls it--in our family life. Maybe I can't sit down and write at length like I once could, but for now this place can be what I need it to be. I wonder if simple might even be better.

_____________________________________________

Today was full of old memories and making new ones.

My grandmother passed away recently and after her memorial, we spent some time at the very same beach that I walked along with her many a time. Whenever we would visit her, we would always take a walk along the beach and collect sea shells. As I dipped my toes in the chilly water, played in the sand and walked along collecting shells in the warm sunshine, my memories with her began walking alongside new ones as our Hidden Treasure placed her little Russian toes into the Pacific Ocean for the very first time.

•  Her little piggy toes scrunching up, feeling the texture of wet sand and water running between her toes.
• Her reckless abandon as she ran at full speed, unencumbered up and down the beach, feeling the wind in her hair.
• Tentative at first, but fear giving away to joy as she took in the fullness of His creation.

I didn't plan this trip to the beach to be so significant, but He did. He knew just what I needed today. He knew I needed something new.

I'm thinking I'm gonna go with this newness here. I won't feel overwhelmed at all I have not shared in the past few months, but instead just start afresh from right here, right now.